


not even the ashes remain

by bananas



Category: Cricket RPF
Genre: Break Up, Healing, M/M, Moving On, Post-Break Up, Sad Ending, how many tags can i add before i spoil the fic completely
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 10:49:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17323613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bananas/pseuds/bananas
Summary: There is no light at the end of this tunnel.





	not even the ashes remain

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is a glimpse into a relationship at it's best and at it's worst.
> 
> i might add more later on because i have a few hundred words written on how their relationship disintegrates but it was v painful to write so idk if ill ever complete and post that. for now, this is the fic.
> 
> title from outro: tear by bts
> 
> disclaimer: this fic isnt real. it's also a very painful read so proceed cautiously. i dont mean to offend or hurt anyone.

_"I want us to stay like this forever."_

 

After their first night together, Pat woke up to a perfect world and Mitch seemed to agree. Mitch's words, whispered into Pat's ear like it was their little secret, ignited a glow in Pat's chest that could rival sun. Pat didn't want to forget anything from that morning and he never did- the warmth of the sun on their faces, streaming through the window, Mitch's hair brushing against his neck and his strong arm securely around him all stayed engraved in his memory, even when he tried to forget it.

 

-

 

_"You are my everything."_

 

One drunken night in Adelaide, underneath the stars and the city lights, Mitch had whispered four little words that shook Pat to the core. Pat had clutched him closer as Mitch stumbled along with him, barely able to stand upright himself.

 

 _"I mean it,"_ he continued,  _"and I've tried to tell you this before but I was always sober and-"_ he tripped again, over his feet and his words, and once he was upright, he continued, _"-I was never brave enough. So. I'm telling you now."_

 

Pat had stopped them then, pulling Mitch upright and staring at him whole Mitch's unfocused, glassy eyes stared back at him.

 

 _"Do you mean it?"_ he had asked, the words coming out softer than he expected them to.

 

Mitch had nodded and that had been enough for Pat to pull him back in.

 

-

 

_ “I don’t know if I can do this anymore.”  _

 

It had been a long time coming. Mitch hadn’t been himself for a while; he’d been distant, aloof, spending more time training or out with Sam than he had in the apartment, at least when Pat was there. A part of him had known what was coming all along but it didn’t stop the words from ripping through him and breaking him into a million tiny pieces.

 

-

 

_ “When did you fall out of love?”  _ Pat’s voice was bitter, full of anger directed at the man who sat in front of him with his head rested in his hands; Mitch had been sitting in the same position for a while now, his fingers buried deep in his hair, tangled in them and gripping them tightly as if he hoped to pull them cleanly from their roots.

 

Mitch looked up to meet Pat’s glare; his face was etched with pain and he stared up at Pat with such intensity that he almost looked angry rather than hurt.

 

_ “I never meant to,” _ he said instead of answering Pat’s question and Pat felt anger course through him.

 

_ “Of course you didn’t.”  _

 

-

 

 _"You are my forever,"_ Mitch had told him once and the words echoed in Pat's head with every step.

 

He hadn't responded in that moment, the heaviness of the words had struck him too deeply, making his eyes burn and he felt the severity of emotion written all over his face. Mitch didn't seem to need a response then and he had pulled Pat in closer towards himself, enveloping him a crushing, searing kiss that seemed to burn through Pat like he'd been standing in an open flame.

 

Now, months later, he prayed for the burns from the flame to heal; he prayed that he would forget, that he would move on, that he would fall out of love, the same way he knew Mitch had.

**Author's Note:**

> come stop by my tumblr with a prompt or feedback if you want 
> 
> also, I didn't mean to paint anyone in a negative light with this fic. breakups are painful and while pat does blame mitch, that's only natural and he does learn to forgive and i hope everyone who reads this realizes that mitch was not at fault either. i do not wish to portray anyone as a villain. anyway, thank u for reading <3


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